Believe it or not I am a very quiet, shy person. I do not go around shouting from the rooftops about T1D – actually the complete opposite. I usually will NOT bring it up unless questioned. BUT – This has given me a much needed outlet.
I don’t physically live with the daily challenges of T1D but my precious daughter does. All we want for our children is for them to be happy and healthy, right? Well, being the caregiver of your precious child with T1D is a daunting and stressful job. If we get it wrong and screw it up we can be the ones who potentially can kill our own flesh and blood.
A few months ago I wasn’t in a very good place. I was pretty much handling ALL of the diabetes care and management for Eden. It kind of just gradually happened. My husband works full time while I stay home and I started doing more and more and he slowly started doing less and less. I was sad, lonely, miserable and incredibly stressed and grumpy. But being me, I tried to continue doing it all myself, the outside world would never have known what was going on. I shouldn’t HAVE to ask for help, right? It should just be handed to me on a silver platter..
Eden was going through a long stage of terrible blood sugar numbers meaning that I was pretty much getting NO sleep every night and was a barrel of stress and worry. No matter what I did seemed to make a difference and I was feeling completely defeated by Diabetes. One day – which as a matter of fact happened to be World Diabetes Day – I wrote a heartfelt post on Facebook that kind of just blurted out.. I didn’t sit down INTENDING to write that on that day – it must have been a build up from all of the stress and worry. People took notice – and a lot of people, some that I didn’t even know.. It was the beginning of a new chapter for me. My husband saw I was breaking and took on 3 nights a week for middle of the night testing. Just getting more sleep helped a LOT. At the same time I found 3 Facebook groups that were dedicated to T1D families.. Boy – how nice was it to feel like everyone spoke your language and COMPLETELY understood what we went through on a daily basis..
So I decided to keep writing… Short posts on Facebook first and now taking an extra step to write a Blog. As I write more and more (I already have PAGES to fill!) it is a type of therapy I guess.. Getting all of these feelings out help SO much! Maybe no one is listening or reading and I could probably keep a personal journal instead – but if SOMEONE learns something or is touched by my writing than it will be worth the effort.