Moments like these are the ones where I REALLY HATE this disease…
Site change day – AGAIN – I should have probably done it yesterday because she was running high a good part of the day yesterday and then of course into the night. Eden woke up at 300 even with extra corrections throughout the night – thankfully with no ketones.
Eden is not very good at site rotations – meaning she likes certain areas on her body to insert the site – and we are supposed to rotate regularly. I was trying to keep her distracted and convince her to do the site insertion in her back..
I have done it HUNDREDS of times but SOMEHOW I managed to insert it upside down and backwards ?!?! Don’t ask me HOW – I didn’t even know it was possible. After I inserted it I sat there staring at it for a few seconds wondering what the heck I was going to do and if I could somehow rotate it..
Eden’s words – “Don’t take it out – it didn’t hurt!”
Unfortunately I had no choice – I had to pull the needle back out again. It immediately started bleeding and sent Eden into tears.. AND I needed to do it all over again with a new site.. Now we were BOTH in tears and I was apologizing over and over and over.. It breaks my heart that I DID THIS to her – I MADE HER cry..
Do I like the fact that I wasn’t strong enough to hold it together for a few minutes until it was all over and I could leave the room..? Nope – but I have feelings that sometimes I can’t contain especially when it involves dealing with this disease.
Today I HATE T1D just a little more than I did yesterday.. I’m sure tomorrow I won’t hate it quite as much.
That IS the roller coaster of Type 1 Diabetes that we live with every.single.day.