Getting a run for my money lately…

 

Sometimes it is NOT FUN living with a Type 1 Diabetic pre-teen..

The last few days have been miserable.. Not consistently miserable – but miserable enough! I’m not sure if I should be broadcasting this to the world or not – Eden will probably be mortified – but it is our truth and I’m trying to be as honest as possible about our life.. Maybe if she knows that people close to her know she will change her behavior? maybe it will make it worse?

Eden seems to have regressed lately…

Is Type 1 Diabetes to blame?
Erratic blood sugar numbers can wreak havoc with personality….

Is normal pre-teen hormonal behavior to blame?
Hormones wreak havoc with personality …

Is there something else going on?
High blood sugar symptoms mimic ADHD like behaviors… believe me I am in research mode..

I don’t know – and I am tearing my hair out…

 

rope

 

Eden has ALWAYS been a very laid back, easy going kind of kid. A blessing and a curse dealing with T1D.

She could care less about keeping her room clean, brushing her teeth and picking up after herself.. some days are better than others.. She needs constant reminders about EVERYTHING.. D- related and non-D related..

One of the rules of our “Diabetes Payout” – (see here and here) – is that her room needs to be clean.. I trust that she does this, and does a good job of it.. I look into her room – see it is nice and tidy and she gets her $$..

This past Sunday was no different – her room looked nice and clean – I guess if you weren’t really LOOKING.. Silly ME – I trusted my child.. Even though I go into her room every evening, Tuesday morning her room was a COMPLETE disaster – she obviously couldn’t figure out (or FIND) what she was going to wear and ALL her drawers were open and clothes were EVERYWHERE.. Her closet doors were open and there was stuff piled high – and I mean HIGH..

Stepping through the mess it didn’t take me long to find food wrappers…. 😦

It seems as though Eden has somehow gone back to her old ways – sneaking food and then stashing the evidence in her room. Her blood sugar numbers have been pretty good until just recently so I know it hasn’t been going on very long..

Not only did she lose her closet doors the other day – she can now no longer hide the junk so her room “looks” clean – I also took away the majority of the snack foods from the pantry.. I will replenish a few at a time so we can keep a closer eye on if things are disappearing.. Silly ME – I trusted my child..

I HATE the fact that I have to do this… She SHOULD be able to have free reign and eat from the pantry, but she is making POOR CHOICES… We DO NOT have junk food in our house I buy healthier options such as pretzels, corn snacks and granola bars but they aren’t meant to be the MEAL… I have allowed Eden to pack her own school lunch and do her own carb counts so she can feel more in control and responsible.. Again – silly me – I trusted my child.. I now will go back to packing her lunch or at least checking closely what she packs every day. This not only affects Eden – her older sister now has to look at a bare pantry too… not fair – so not fair…

Unfortunately today, Eden blatantly lied to my face. I do NOT do well with that.. It was about brushing her teeth – not really a huge deal alone – besides the LYING part – she hates to brush her teeth and will do just about anything to get out of it… but put it together with everything else going on and I lost the plot.. I screamed and yelled and I am not proud of it.. She is on the verge of losing what she loves most in this world – basketball…

I feel so hurt, angry, disappointed and at a complete loss today… I take this so personally and just don’t know what to do. Being a mother is so hard sometimes – I love my kids so much and it is hard NOT to take this personally because I feel like I am failing miserably… It is even HARDER when doing the things she is doing affect her HEALTH and well being.. She is digging herself an early grave and it kills me..

Right now the distraction from our daily life with the trip to Hawaii cannot come fast enough.. If Eden cannot turn things around and at least verbalize some of the reasons behind why she is doing what she is doing then it might be time for some counseling upon our return … not that there is anything wrong with that…

Silly ME – I want to be ABLE to trust my child…

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