Yesterday I struggled with what to write about.. so I didn’t write..
Well, not because there isn’t something always happening with D, but because I didn’t want what I was going to say to come across the wrong way and I wasn’t exactly sure how to say it.
I pretty much ALWAYS have a thought about D or something to say..
Yesterday – I was feeling disappointed.
Honestly, VERY disappointed and hurt..
Eden has been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes for just over 4 years now..
We have been living with the worry, fear and anguish of this disease for FOUR YEARS
We have ONLY fundraised ONCE in those 4 years to try to raise $$ for a cure. When we did it was only 6 months after diagnosis and we managed to raise over $7000 !!!!
WAY MORE than we ever anticipated and at the time we were overwhelmed with love and support and we had just moved to CA..
4 years later ..
there is still NO CURE
Eden STILL HAS TYPE 1 DIABETES
And we have BARELY raised $1000 …
- Is it because she isn’t as young so it seems to be not as sad and unfair?
- Is it because I have started sharing our lives and so people have become numb to it?
- Is it because people feel like DIABETES doesn’t matter??
- Is it because Eden looks too healthy so it can’t be THAT bad?
- Do I need to post the sad pictures of her when dealing with a LOW or getting jabbed with needles?
I don’t KNOW the answer…
For 4 years we have decided NOT to do the JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes.
More of a subconscious decision on my part –
A HUGE reason was because I didn’t think that I would be able to handle the emotional side of seeing SO MANY Type 1 kids and families in one place.
SO MANY families dealing with the daily struggles that we face because we lived in our own little D bubble… hiding a lot of the emotions and fear that we were living with daily.
I am finally breaking out of that D bubble –
speaking up for the world to hear –
and am probably going to cry and cry and cry when I see all of those faces at the Walk..
But I am putting my feelings and emotions aside and doing it..
BECAUSE WE NEED A CURE for this disease.
For the parents, for the families, for the kids and for the entire T1D Community.
I had such a grand vision of the big group of people we would have walking with us – standing in our corner and showing us support..
A sea of Team BE – Eden’s Effort t-shirts rallying around us and showing us that it matters and they care…
It hasn’t happened..
and quite honestly it breaks my heart,
really stings and makes me feel like no-one cares
No one wants to feel like they aren’t important –
or the fight they are fighting isn’t worth fighting for.
BUT – that’s how I was feeling yesterday… that’s what I was struggling with saying..
Now it is said.