SO much has been going on the past few days – I just honestly haven’t had the energy to sit and write..
- We have had ridiculous, frustrating HIGH blood sugars
- We have had a XCountry finals meet
- We have had a Fall Dance and Carnival
- A housewarming party
- A basketball tournament
- A sleepover
- Scary LOW blood sugar
- A birthday party
- A fundraising pizza party
All of this stuff going on requires lots of extra planning and thinking – my brain has been mush and my body completely exhausted.
Let me start with the early part of yesterday… sharing a moment that really hit home and I continue to think about.
Eden was invited to a birthday party – it was a swim party and I was happy for Eden to see that many parents actually stayed so I didn’t stand out. Swimming usually causes low blood sugar so I was there just in case. She didn’t have an issue with blood sugar or carb counts – but something else.
This was the first time I noticed Eden
being self-conscious about her body and her D scars.
She was wearing a bikini just like the majority of the girls… and I have never seen it bother her before.
It made me so sad to watch her rubbing her hands over her scars,
crossing her arms across her stomach and hesitating to join the rest of the group…
Her stomach area and back are peppered with D scars – some of them fresh from new insulin pump sites recently changed out.
Trying to encourage her to join in –
My words to Eden –
BE PROUD… you are such a tough kid
BE PROUD of those scars..
Meanwhile I am willing away
the tears welling in my eyes
– those scars –
they GIVE YOU LIFE..
I knew the time would come – I just wasn’t ready for it yesterday… and it left me very emotional sitting watching her interact with the rest of the kids.
Our T1D kids go through SO MUCH every.single.day. just to stay alive.
Those scars are a visual reminder of the daily battle we fight.
There is no escaping – getting away or forgetting D.
Seeing the expression on her face was very difficult as her mother to witness.
It was fleeting – but it was there and has stuck with me.