today we got some clarity..
not a lot – but a little..
enough to make some conclusions on changes that we need to make and enough to make me feel guilty.
the past few weeks have been tough..
Blood sugars have been out of control – a lot of it self inflicted because Eden had been forgetting to give herself insulin at school when she ate. A few missed doses here and there I can handle – but when it is becoming an almost every day occurrence things had to change…
For the past 4 days – Eden has been required to go to the nurses office to check her blood sugar and dose her insulin for lunch when she is at school.
this was a very hard decision to come to – one that Eden did NOT like.
Eden has been considered “self-managed” at middle school since she began last August, meaning that she is legally able to manage her own diabetes care whilst at school.
This means she is solely responsible for testing her blood sugar when required – after PE – before lunch – before after school sports activities, etc. She is required to tell a teacher if her blood sugar is low who can then notify the nurse. She is also responsible for administering her own “medication” i.e.: her insulin, as needed when she eats anything.
Eden and I communicate throughout the day and I can obviously see what is happening with her blood sugars thanks to Nightscout and Dexcom. There have been multiple occasions where I have needed to contact the office or a teacher because her blood sugar was dropping dangerously low or vice versa skyhigh. It came to a point where I had to just watch her blood sugar skyrocket and not make the call.. I couldn’t be calling several times a day and pulling her out of class. She needed to step up.
Unfortunately, even with all the tools available and the trust we put in her to manage her own health care – she hit a wall…
It is exhausting – time consuming and there are days when you just don’t want to have to deal with it.
I get it – completely.
Those days were becoming more and more so we needed to step in to make changes and ensure that her health came first and that it didn’t start to seriously impact her learning abilities or her well being.
The past couple of weeks have been taxing ..
I feel like I have been constantly on Eden… constantly…
When I would see her blood sugar skyrocketing during the day I would be MAD.. Mad because it indicated that she wasn’t giving herself insulin. I don’t monitor exactly when she eats day in and day out. She should be able to eat a snack if she is hungry – eat if someone has brought something to share – choose her own snacks and eat like a pre-teen kid without her mother asking questions..
Because she was not giving herself insulin on a regular basis and we caught her out a few times not even testing her blood sugar we had to make the choice to restrict her management and self control for a couple of weeks to get her back on track.
Today – Eden has done everything as we had planned. We have been in contact and I can tell by her blood sugars that she has given insulin when she says she has.
and her blood sugars still skyrocketed
at around the same time of the day
That is the part that makes me feel incredibly guilty.
SO MANY FACTORS affect blood sugar but we couldn’t see or anticipate any other factors because she wasn’t doing what needed to be done in the first place. We always wait for a pattern before we make any insulin dosage changes..
there WAS A PATTERN… and all along I thought the pattern was her fault
Her lapses made it impossible to see anything else.
We try to fine tune everything down to the hour of the day – every few hours she requires a different basal insulin dosage and daylight savings certainly did not make things easier for us this week.
I owe Eden an apology.
Yes – she needed to be observed at school to get back on track..
But now it is clear or at least as clear as mud as to the next step we need to take. There are changes that need to be made to her basal and/or meal time insulin dosages at certain times of day that were totally, completely and utterly out of her control..
Type 1 Diabetes is stupid and no matter what you do day in and day out – it does not like to be controlled (like a teenager!) and will always do what it wants.