It matters…

Some days Type 1 Diabetes really pushes me to the edge..

 

The outermost limits of my sanity – frustration – exhaustion and worry

 

I really can’t even describe in words what a pain in the butt this disease is to live with day after day after day and the deep impact it has on my life.

 

today has been one of those What the Heck kinda Diabetes days..

one that made me really think and ponder

 

I haven’t been keeping up with my blogging anywhere near as much as I would like to

trust me – I still have a lot to say on this darn disease

 

story quote

 

  • Some days it is just hard to write
  • Some days I desperately want to write – to vent – to complain – but know it doesn’t really do much good and don’t want to come across as permanently negative
  • Some days I want to brag because of the smallest, littlest accomplishment we might have had – or scream from the rooftops at how proud I am of Eden
  • Some days I feel like I am just MAD – mad at her and the blasé attitude she has about her management or mad at myself for being so hard on her
  • Some days I wonder if writing is really even worth it and whether I should even bother – is it even making a difference?

 

As her mother – I want Eden to live in the here and now – I want her to be a kid and have fun and freedom and not feel limited by her disease or have a care in the world…

but she does…

She has a disease than requires vigilance and maintenance CONSTANTLY.

It’s hard to not constantly nag and ask questions to ensure that the correct things are being done to maintain her health.

What she does now has immediate consequences as well as consequences that can affect her entire future in terms of complications.

It’s hard telling my perspective as a mother of an almost teen T1D without sometimes wanting to throw her under the bus out of pure frustration. I have to remind myself she is a kid – a great kid – doing the best she can.

Normal teen attitude and behaviors mixed with a life threatening and complex chronic illness test me every single day in ways I never could have possibly imagined. Putting that into words the general public might understand is difficult.

 

carry quote

 

Some days it makes me want to run away and hide and just give up.

But I can’t and she can’t..

We are stuck here in this crazy roller coaster of a life and doing the absolute best we can and I have to remind myself of the purpose of writing in the first place.

  • to educate people
  • to help people understand our life
  • to shed some light on the disease that is Type 1 Diabetes
  • to let others who might be in the same boat feel like they are not alone

 

quitting quote

 

almost every day this week I have been approached either in person or contacted online by someone who has read and been touched by me sharing our story.. not once, not twice, but at least 5 times – just this week

sharing their own personal stories – expressing their amazement at what we deal with and showing a true desire to know and learn more about Type 1 Diabetes.

 

I guess that means what I am doing is working.

 

it gives me hope – it makes me want to continue sharing – even if it might be less often than the past

people are learning and do care and I am honored and humbled that they have reached out to me. 💙💙

 

please keep reading –

please keep commenting and sharing so that we can continue to educate the public one person at a time.

it matters and it is making a difference… 

 

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6 thoughts on “It matters…

  1. I know I don’t post on your blog much but know this…you’re blog is so inspiring and efucational and I thank you for sharing your story with us. Eden is an amazing kid…Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree! 😊

  2. I very much appreciate you writing this blog. I always get excited when I receive a new email. My son (3 years old) has had type 1 since January 28, 2013. I can relate to a lot of what you share and also get a glimpse of what the future holds. Thank you! And from what I’ve read you are a great Mom!

    • thank you so much for reading and commenting.. means the world! I can’t imagine being diagnosed so young – so unfair and makes my heart hurt.. our kids are amazing as are all D-moms and dads- it is hard and each age and stage has its own challenges! xo

  3. I so appreciate your blog and hearing your voice. In my daily life I struggle with feeling like I’m sharing too much at the same time I feel like I could never share enough to understood. My 12 year old is so good with his diabetes care, but he’s a 12 year old diabetic and he can only do so much. What people see is just the tip of the iceberg, but instead of a solid base under the waterline there’s a 3 ring circus precariously keeping the tip afloat. Is this all our lives are? No, but it underpins everything we do and every decision we make. I cry with you for your struggles and boisterously cheer for your innumerable successes. Thank you for sharing both.

    • thank you for reading and commenting! yes – always feel the need for a smooth, calm exterior – which for outsiders makes it look easy.. totally a 3-ring circus underneath!!! this is a hard, hard age to manage – juggling the need for independence and the mother protector role.. hugs to you and your family.

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