Some days Type 1 Diabetes really pushes me to the edge..
The outermost limits of my sanity – frustration – exhaustion and worry
I really can’t even describe in words what a pain in the butt this disease is to live with day after day after day and the deep impact it has on my life.
today has been one of those What the Heck kinda Diabetes days..
one that made me really think and ponder
I haven’t been keeping up with my blogging anywhere near as much as I would like to
trust me – I still have a lot to say on this darn disease
- Some days it is just hard to write
- Some days I desperately want to write – to vent – to complain – but know it doesn’t really do much good and don’t want to come across as permanently negative
- Some days I want to brag because of the smallest, littlest accomplishment we might have had – or scream from the rooftops at how proud I am of Eden
- Some days I feel like I am just MAD – mad at her and the blasé attitude she has about her management or mad at myself for being so hard on her
- Some days I wonder if writing is really even worth it and whether I should even bother – is it even making a difference?
As her mother – I want Eden to live in the here and now – I want her to be a kid and have fun and freedom and not feel limited by her disease or have a care in the world…
but she does…
She has a disease than requires vigilance and maintenance CONSTANTLY.
It’s hard to not constantly nag and ask questions to ensure that the correct things are being done to maintain her health.
What she does now has immediate consequences as well as consequences that can affect her entire future in terms of complications.
It’s hard telling my perspective as a mother of an almost teen T1D without sometimes wanting to throw her under the bus out of pure frustration. I have to remind myself she is a kid – a great kid – doing the best she can.
Normal teen attitude and behaviors mixed with a life threatening and complex chronic illness test me every single day in ways I never could have possibly imagined. Putting that into words the general public might understand is difficult.
Some days it makes me want to run away and hide and just give up.
But I can’t and she can’t..
We are stuck here in this crazy roller coaster of a life and doing the absolute best we can and I have to remind myself of the purpose of writing in the first place.
- to educate people
- to help people understand our life
- to shed some light on the disease that is Type 1 Diabetes
- to let others who might be in the same boat feel like they are not alone
almost every day this week I have been approached either in person or contacted online by someone who has read and been touched by me sharing our story.. not once, not twice, but at least 5 times – just this week…
sharing their own personal stories – expressing their amazement at what we deal with and showing a true desire to know and learn more about Type 1 Diabetes.
I guess that means what I am doing is working.
it gives me hope – it makes me want to continue sharing – even if it might be less often than the past
people are learning and do care and I am honored and humbled that they have reached out to me. 💙💙
please keep reading –
please keep commenting and sharing so that we can continue to educate the public one person at a time.
it matters and it is making a difference…